There are two things that I geek out about: zombies, and video games. Zombie videogames are, naturally, a lot of fun. However, I particularly enjoy imagining which in-game weapons I would like to wield in a real-world zombie apocalypse (fine, fine… “real world” zombie apocalypse). Here are my top five zombie apocalypse weapons.
Blades of Chaos (God of War)
The Blades of Chaos are two bad-ass short, edged weapons. They’re super sharp, and can hack through most enemies—zombie flesh wouldn’t even be a challenge to these bad boys. Their best attribute, however, are the chains. The Blades of Chaos can be thrown to slash through an enemy, and the chains cause them to retract back into the bearer’s hands. They can also be spun on the chains, covering all possible areas of attack. The undead wouldn’t stand a chance.
Plasma Cutter (Dead Space)
A plasma cutter is an essential tool for any space miner. It’s also Dead Space’s answer to Gordon Freeman’s crowbar—but, of course, deadlier. And slice-ier. The plasma cutter would be a great short-range weapon, though it would be rather messy. I’ve mostly included it here for the cool factor, but you have to admit it would be effective.
Spread Gun (Contra)
The Contra spread gun in the only gun on this list—mostly because I think guns would be kind of boring, and this is a fantasy list. It’s also the only weapon from a game I haven’t played—though I’ve watched my boyfriend play it. (Ugh. Typing that sentence made me cringe). This gun shoots multiple bullets, which then spread out to hit multiple targets. You could take on most of a horde with this gun—though it starts to shoot off fewer rounds if you shoot it too frequently, which could cause problems in a full-fledged zombie attack.
Incinerate! Plasmid (Bioshock)
What would be better than pyrokinetic powers during the zombie apocalypse? The Incinerate! plasmid would give you those powers, and the ability to set entire zombie hordes aflame. Fire is extremely effective against zombies, and shooting fire at the undead would be a feel-good solution to the scourge. The only downside is the potential for collateral damage—fire spreads.
The Ripper ( Dead Island)
I know I’ve already professed my love for zombies, video games, and zombie video games. But I didn’t really enjoy DeadIsland. I pre-ordered it, played it for a while, then put it away until I eventually sold it back to Game Stop. The Ripper—the Game Stop exclusive weapon—can be created by a character at a work bench. It’s a combination of a baseball bat and a spinning saw—you hit a zombie and the saw slices it apart. It’s nicely effective, even in large crowds.
Well, there you have it—my Five Most-Desired Video Game Weapons (In the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse). Do you think I missed an obvious choice? What five weapons would you choose? I’d love to hear your answers in the comments!